Why do I sound sad, Why do I sound blue because when I said those words to you, you said nothing. I waited as the pain grew deeper, hoping the feeling was wrong, But when you didn’t the pain grew fast. I try to believe in what you say.. But thats what happned I believed in what you said, or what you didn’t say. I don’t want to believe this is fake I really don’t, But what am I supposed to believe when you say nothing just letting my words hang in an awkward silence. I don’t want to run I don’t want to hide I JUST WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHY?! Why didn’t you say anything? What where you thinking? Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking when I say something? Why do I have to ask these questions? I don’t understand many things, But I will try. You just have to tell me, don’t sit back and hold your words to yourself then ask why I sound sad. I don’t want to feel this way, But thats what happens when I’m the one that has to sit and wait for a response that never comes.
This isn’t some tan girl covered in makeup with perfectly straight hair and a perfect smile. This is a girl with Pfeiffer Syndrome, who has had bangs her whole life to hide her forehead and struggles everyday to be okay with looking this way. She’s had several surgeries and will have a couple more. she can’t wear makeup much, her eyes are sensitive. Her jaw is misaligned. Her forehead is too thick and has to be shaven down. Her cheekdowns have to be moved forward by surgery. when she was four she had something called a ‘halo’ which was a metal circle screwed into her skull and jaw.
though she fought through it medically, she struggles everyday with the emotional sideeffects. she doesn’t look like her family or her friends. she may never look normal. she has depression and eating issues because of what she has had to accept about herself. she has done awful things to be pretty.
nobody ever sees her without makeup or without bangs.
until now.
She, is me.
and if I make your blog ugly, than don’t reblog this. but if you can be one of the few people in my life who I know are fully comfortable with it, than reblog this so people know.
you are beautiful. even if you don’t realize it, you are. everyone is,
I’ve tried blaming myself for what happned, but I can’t anymore because i know it wasn’t. Everything that happned was because of you and now you have to deal with the consequences of your actions just like I’m dealing with mine. Your actions were serious and people were hurt and maybe one day you will see that. As of right now thou I’m done I can’t deal with you anymore your lies and your game’s I’m done and I’m truely not sorry anymore. I could sit back and blame myself for everything, but I’m not at fault I made my decisions and I relieze now how bad they were. I will not stand back and lie for you I wont watch my girlfriend and my friends cry for you and as of right now I have no more time for you. So this I will say with no guilt in my heart you will get what you deserve and you will pay the price and hopefully this will be the last time. This quiz is over you’ve failed the test but I will not lose any rest because I know that this wont happen again atleast not to my friends. Life goes on and I will be strong because I know that this time it truely wasnt my fault.
All i seem to be able to do is fuck things up. things will be fine for a while but i cant let them stay that way i allways want more i allways need more. i have to learn to wait that good things come in time but rite now i dont think i have that kind of patience and thats where everything gets messed up. all because i cant just sit back and wait for something good i have to throw my 2 cents in and fuck everything up. when will i learn that if i dont wait i wont get what i want… i dont think i ever will.
